I wanted you to fight for me. I wanted you to plead to know the meaning behind my “nothing is wrong”. I wanted you to keep your promises. I wanted you to be there. I wanted you to understand and not threaten to send me away. I wanted you to not make me wait. I wanted you to show up at my door, take me into your arms, and kiss me. I wanted you to want me as much as I wanted you.
I hope someday, you fall for a beautiful, strong, and amazing girl. Your dream girl. I hope you fall head over heals. I hope she ignores you. I hope she pays no attention to you. I hope she wants nothing to do with you. I hope she breaks your heart. I hope from that day on, you realize that’s how you leave girls feeling. Not just one girl, not just a couple. Try a couple dozen. I hope from that day on, you grow a heart and use it well.
She’s sitting on her bed with the world in her hand. She doesn’t know what to do. Should she give in? should she stay clean? She has so much to live for. Her tears once used to wash everything away. But now, she doesn’t even shed one. No one would have to know. But she can’t cry. She’s been emotionless for months now. She wishes someone would call her, and tell her not to. To hang in there. That she’s beautiful and has so much to live for. But no one can read minds. No one cares. She talks to her angel up above. No answer. Maybe he’s busy. Maybe he doesn’t care. Maybe he wants her to do it. She finally takes a breathe, and kills the world. Watches it flood right in front of her. There’s no tears in her eyes, just a slight smile on her face. She’s found her remedy.
Take a broken girl. Show her that you love her. Show her that you care. Take her into your arms and let her tears soak onto you. Tell her she’s beautiful. Tell her everything’s going to be okay. Tell her you love her. Watch her drop the kill.
I’m not going to sit here and feel sorry. I have no reason to be sorry. I walked away for my own good. I realized I deserve better. I realized you’re just like the rest. I realized you’re shady. I took my pride and walked away.
Don’t you dare come back when you miss me. I’ll be perfectly happy without you.
trust no bitch. they all backstab you in the end. be your own best friend. who cares if people say you’re a loser. at least you know you’re not getting fucked over in the end like they will be at one point.
I’ll know I’ll probably regret not going up to you and kissing you. It’s been running through my head all day. I should of turned back and done it. But something stopped me. I don’t want to get close just to get hurt again.
I want it to happen because it’s meant to happen. Not because other people want it to. Not because other people want to see me smile. I want it to be real. I want something true.
Do you somehow intoxicate me? I’m such a mess when I’m around you. It’s kind of cute. All I can remember is you, and nothing I do.
When I say sorry, believe me I feel it. When you see me starting to cry, hold me and tell me everything’s gonna be alright. When I ignore you, give me your attention. When I’m quiet, ask me what’s wrong. When I push or hit you, grab me and don’t let go. When I’m mad and I walk away from you, follow me. If I didn’t text you, it’s because I’m waiting for you to text me. When I say I love you, Don’t doubt. I mean it.
Is it possible to find hope in such an hour of darkness?
Fuck it. Fuck everything. Fuck everything falling apart. Fuck guys. Fuck broken hearts. Fuck being emotionless. Fuck people changing. Fuck people and their attitudes. Fuck not being important enough. Fuck trying for nothing. Fuck not sleeping. Fuck staying up all night. Fuck hurting. Fuck not being able to cry anymore. Fuck what you hear. Fuck what you see. Fuck your heart. Fuck yourself. Fuck fake people. Fuck being there for someone who walks away. Fuck friends. Fuck life. Fuck being alone. Fuck being sensitive. Fuck parents. Fuck family. Fuck school. Fuck liars. Fuck people who don’t care. Fuck love. Fuck people. Just fuck fucking everything.
Just take another pill. You know you will. Just make another cut. You know it helps. Fuck being clean, and fuck faking a smile. In the end, you're left with nothing.
