I don’t wanna be that girl that sits around waiting for you. Crying for you. Just waiting for the day for you to breakup with her. In a way, I’m hoping that she hurts you. I wonder if you’d come back crawling to me. Would I take you back? Every inch of my body says I would, but once I actually take the time to think of it, you hurt me. We’d never be the same. And she already hurt you, and yet, you went back after all you told me about your exes. I might be miserable without you, but I can obviously manage without you.
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you taught me so many things. to never doubt myself, that I'm beautiful & I shouldn't settle for less. you gave me confidence. you taught me how to care for a person. but you never taught me how to stop caring. how to stop loving someone so much. you never taught me to stop thinking about you no matter how much it hurts. you never taught me what I'm supposed to do after this, how I'm supposed to handle this. you never taught me how to give up. because I don't want to. I wanna keep trying for me, for us because I know there's still something there.
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out of every lie I've heard, I think "I love you" from any boy I had strong feelings for was my favorite. for awhile it had me fooled. had me feel like I was beautiful. was at the top of the world. made me feel so happy. my second favorite would be the times you said you were "sorry" while we were friends. it made me feel like I was important enough to still be in your thoughts. and right now, I'd do anything to hear these lies from you.
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I threw away all the pictures when I was angry and upset. I remember tears running down my face and I was crying out for you. Crying and yelling won’t do anything. You can’t hear me, and even if you could, you wouldn't’t do anything. You wouldn't’t care. You’re heartless, and I hope that someday soon, she goes and shatters your heart some more. It’s just a little taste of what you did to me. Don’t lie. You deserve it. But the last time I looked at our pictures, I smiled. It was like I was there with you. I was in your arms again. That was the happiest I’fe been in months. Until my sister knocked on my door and broke through that bubble. And when I went back and looked at them, I couldn't’t help it. I cried.
Just because she comes off strong, it doesn’t mean she didn’t fall asleep crying. And even though she acts like nothing’s wrong, maybe she’s just really good at lying.
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Sometimes you only forgive someone because you can’t stand not having them in your life.
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It takes a minute to have a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone.
But it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
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You don’t always have to pretend to be strong. There’s no need to prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned about what other people are thinking. Cry if you need to, it’s good to cry out all your tear, because only then will you be able to smile again.
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It’s like once you’fe been hurt, you’re so scared to get attached again. Like you have this fear that every person you start to like is going to break your heart again.
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the pain doesn't really effect me anymore. I actually look forward to sitting in my room alone in the morning and doing it repeatably. it's like a habit, an addiction all most, that you have to feed on to stay alive.
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I'm tired of trusting people. I'm tired of being played. I'm tired of getting my heart broken. I'm tired of being backstabbed. I'm tired of people telling me things that I'm not just to make me feel better about myself. I'm tired of hurting. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of never getting any sleep. I'm tired of having to log into my friends facebook just to see her account. I'm tired of looking at all the pictures of them and how happy they are. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of her wallposts. those should be mine. I'm tired of hurting myself over a boy. I'm tired of ignoring one of my best friends because I'm ashamed of what I've become. I'm tired of everything. screaming parents. annoying sister. having to take care of her. it's summer. I tired of never being driven anywhere. I'm tired of the world and being alive. I'm tired of trying. tired of hurting others. tired of getting my hopes up. tired of trusting someone, thinking I can & then being backstabbed. I'm tired of missing you. your eyes, your kisses, your everything. I'm tired of running mascara. I'm tired of pleasing other people just to find myself being tired of always being miserable. I'm simply just tired of being tired of everything.
I'm only trying so hard right now because when I stop loving you, I'll never be able to love you again & it would be a waste to throw out a love like this.
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you're hurt. I wish I could be in your arms once again and make everything all better. everything felt perfect when I was in his arms. I miss that. his arms were my only safe place at the time. now my only safe place is my dark room where no one can see me, no one can hear me, no one can save me.
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say you love me. say you want me back. say you're sorry & take me in your arms & kiss me like you never had before. tell me everythings gonna be okay again. that you want me & just me & that you'll stop hurting me. tell me she's a whore & simply a mistake. tell me you need me because I need you more than I've ever needed anyone. you were the only one holding me together after the last asshole. & once you walked away, I was completely shattered and torn down.
I'm really tired of being in the middle of a thought & just randomly burst down in tears. I'm tired of trying to not think about you. it doesn't happen that way. I don't think of you as often, which is a good start but when I do I start shaking & I can't help it. I cry for me, for her when she gets what I got. for all the other girls out there going through this. for the guys I'm hurting because my emotions are fucked & I cry because it's one of the few things that feels good anymore.
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I never really thought you could hurt me this much. I thought it was just a crush, like back in grade school. how boys were so adorable and icky at the same time. but to me, you're never icky. not even when you let me down. because I never give up on you. I'm keeping my promise even though you've long gone broken yours. & every single time you come back and apologize, you make everything okay again. & it shouldn't be like that. but I guess that's just the impact that adorable has on me.
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I hate the feeling when you know things are falling apart but you can't really do anything about it. no matter what you say to each other, it still doesn't feel the same. doesn't have the same impact it used to. tears constantly fall down your face because you hate this feeling. like you're miserable & you're losing the one who matters & means the most. it's like your losing yourself to.
I might fall for people easily but I fall for a certain type of person easily. the ones I see crying out for help. the ones with a troubled past. the ones I'd just love to be wrapped around all day with. the ones with big hearts. the ones who cry on the phone & say what's on their mind. but at the same time, that type is the one that does anything to find happiness and does it while hurting the ones who truly love him. I guess every beautiful thing has to have a flaw of it's own.
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